I have hired her… furthermore her nickname is “mouseketeer”. I will probably call her mouse for short. how could she possibly have know so specifically what to send me?
Gormley: Im sending that link to landry
Melissa: she’s going to die when she reads it and if she does i hope this guy doesnt find her
tonight i turned a corner.
for the first time in almost 4 years i realized exactly how unruly my life has been.
ive spent the past few months digging myself out of the mess that i made and i can finally see the end of the tunnel.
it feels good.
and just when i thought i saw how bad it had been
i found a Hillary Duff cd in my cd collection
and the cellophane is off of it.
it was then that i realized that one of 2 things were true:
either i was so drunk in the past few years that i didnt realize that i started doing heroin and somehow willingly accepted that cd from someone OR (god forbid!!!…..) paid money for it in some sort of ‘nod-out’.
or
someone reverse burglarized me by breaking in and LEAVING that here.
i really hope its the latter. or else i am definitely too far gone to ever make it back.
******************
post post IM:
Gormley: nice
Landry: nice?!?!?
i dont even know how to dispose of something like this
Gormley: fire?
Landry: do i have to take it to a special dump
like where they get rid of spent uranium?
in a special container so i dont let the toxins out
and
am i going to get sick?
i mean these are valid questions
Gormley: dont lick it
i have changed my mind
i am now a harry potter fan
maybe the nerdiest strangest text message i have ever received came to me last night
it read,
in part,
“yes. I’m still at work. But its ok because I’m programming robots”
im not sure that i will ever get another one quite the same again.
in my previous life as a blogger, i did my fair share of writing about the state of the world.
or
at the very least,
i wrote about things also not related to being drunk with gormley.
but i cant read the news
and i cant bear to watch whats happening
and i feel like i havent had the energy to yell loud enough
so ive been hiding my head and pretending that we are not watching the world fall apart at the seams.
this last year has drained me more than i was able to fathom.
i am just now starting to recover from the constant banging of my head against a wall that was not going to change on my schedule.
tonight, i read some news
it was the first time in weeks
its going to take me a little while to catch up to anything unrelated to Anna Nicole-Smith
but i’ll get there.
then im probably going to be pretty mad.
and?!?!?
please, if someone already made Dubya king while i wasnt paying attention, tell me so i dont have to read it in the style section of the Times.
the clouds were (fucking) ridiculously beautiful today
they looked like the ones that i drew when i was a kid.
the sky ending up being the color of the only blue crayon i had,
which would never have been the one i would have picked if i had all of the 64 crayolas.
but the “right colors” were broken or lost
so i made due with the colors i had.
and they ended up just as pretty.
i was decidedly not doing the stations of the cross this morning.
L: are you coming to dinner friday with the girl
JBL: i think i might
without the girl
….she’s scared of you
L: she is NOT
why?
what did you tell her?
JBL: i said that you 2 were a handful
which is true
but that you would probably be nice to her
L: of course we would
…unless we hated her
or she had a “go-funny” eye
JBL: you’ll smell the fear
how could you guys not attack like rabid dogs?
L: we are nice
JBL: when?
i would say when you’re drunk
but that isn’t the case
G: the trick is to pretend NOT to be a rabid dog
…lull the rabbit into a false sense of security
JBL: see this is why she won’t meet you 2
L: listen….
truth be told, it is in our best interest that you have a gf
JBL: why is that?
you didn’t like the last one
and couldn’t wait for me to get rid of her
L: GORM didnt like her
and?
that one was fucking crazy
so if you can manage to meet a girl who isn’t crazy
we will not bite her’
L: well i watched Milo and Otis this week
about
43 times
Y: better than barney
or the fucking teletubbies
L: shes too big for teletubbies
but they have this group of homos called the wiggles
who teach children how to sing faggy songs
Y: ah, yes, i know the wiggles well
they are from australia i think
so faggy
L: big big homos
Y: doesn’t one have a purse?
L: i think thats the teletubbies
im sure that one has a butt plug though
and who needs a purse
when you have a butt plug?
Y: butt plug is def > purse
