pissyrabbits

i think we are trying to see if “Zombie” is fitting

the wicked witch is dead

“…they found the 48-year-old Seattle man with two large gashes on his forehead from a bottle of Thunderbird wine.”

damn!
it wasn’t even OE

i live in what has been a predominantly black neighborhood for a very long time.

i love it here. I know my neighbors. The kids dealing weed on the corner say hello to my dog by name. I know the old voodoo priestess down the block, the super of the building next door invited me to spend the holidays with his family in PR.

in other words, i dont just live here, i am part of this community.

over the past few years its changed tremendously. I noticed about 2 years ago for 6 solid months at the beginning of the month at least 10 moving vans transporting scruffy young white couples to my little barrio. its been a steady stream since.
this shouldnt surprise to me. I have always lived in what are considered to be “marginal” neighborhoods that end up being hot shit, but this time it seems to have made me particularly bristly. to my horror, its turning into a mini williamsburg. the first time i saw a tall lanky kid with skinny jeans, converse and a white boy afro i was *pissed*. I talked about it for days to anyone who would listen. “we dont have *artist* lofts in Prospect Heights!!!! What do they want to live here for?” We barely have good restaurants that do delivery. (I have been trying to get the Wing Wagon to deliver here for about 6 months. they always come up with an excuse, last nights was that the delivery guy got mugged on my street and he refuses to deliver to my block. thats some bullshit)

so today…

asshole whispering under her breath *after* ive gotten past her with my 150lb dog: Thats why theres always dog shit on the ground”

me: uh…i clean up after my dogs ALWAYS.

asshole who didnt expect that i heard her: “YOU SHOULD MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!”

me: i AM minding my own business. you said under your breath something about my dogs shit. thats my business.

asshole back to under her breath: fucking white people leaving their dog shit all over.

now i love being contrary. and under normal circumstances this would be fun. but the fact of the matter is that i have seen people leave their dogs shit on the ground and not *once* has one of those people been white.

not even once.

and even though some of the white people moving in might be a blight to the eyes. there has ALWAYS been dog shit land mines all over the sidewalks here. that hasnt miraculously started since the whitey has started migrating here.

so in remembrance of MLK i say people of all races, creeds colors, genders and sexual orientations should clean up after their dogs.

the new master work of my niece  who i spent 24 strange hours with this weekend

Lulu: aunt jenny, why do you have a bowl full of babies

she was later found making baby army sculptures

plastic fetuses

it’s 2:30 in the afternoon and i am just now getting a hangover from last night.

im hosting dinner at my place tonight which requires at minimum, that i bathe my dog.

my hangover is gathering the union together and going on strike.

it is demanding more tylenol pm and a nap as well as shorter working hours and no dog bathing (”that sort of work should be farmed out to India”, it says)

i will keep you up to date on the negotiations.

Jury Duty. Take a moment to feel the dread. Quite the social experiment I have to say. My day was filled with:

• The machinations of way-just-out-of-law-school public defenders trying to make a name for themselves in a Jacquelyn Smith Kmart suit (not going to happen)
• A lawyer who (literally I think) broke his foot midway through jury selection because he was so overweight. (No lie, he went to the hospital and came back with a cast…).
• Alleged crimes against 13-year-olds who like to have slutty conversations with guys 3 times their age (they blamed AOL).
• Watching someone with a cheesy line pick up a fellow juror (like it was the bar at TGIFridays) while wearing a blazer that made me wish I could bring matches into the courthouse.
• Being shuffled in and out like cattle.
• Peoples lack of ‘personal space’… seriously, do you let your ass touch other people when you sit down?
• The horrifying realization that my potential jury pool (when I am convicted) will be meth-heads who wear Abercrombie & Fitch from head (with the appropriate number of missing teeth) to toe. Well, if Fate has a sense of humor anyway.

And so it just goes to show you…

If you’re into trash-talk with the undercover cop pretending to be a 13 year old, or bench-warming with the potential juror/desperately middle-aged/Rite-Aid manager - if you’re an alleged pedophile (FYI? Looked like a duck AND quacked like a duck.) or a juror flirting with anyone near him - put on a $199 suit, and someone is going to want to fuck you.

If it isn’t jesus in a tree, mary in melting snow on a tailpipe, its:

“People wonder what in the world it is because this is the Bible Belt, and everyone is afraid it’s the end of times,” said Steve Allen, a freight company owner and pilot who said the object he saw last week was a mile long and half a mile wide. “It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts.”