pissyrabbits

my phone shut itself off when i tried to open the one and only text message my mother has ever sent me.

Disapproving Rabbits

i disapprove of everything
i know how they feel
maybe i should have been a rabbit
…..sigh

thanks kyle

olivia’s 5th birthday was tuesday
she is the love of my life
since she was born we have had this way with each other that is something i never could have fathomed.
and every year she becomes more and more this creature i understand without having to think about it.
she knows her effect on people.
she engages grown-ups in ways that other grown-ups are incapable.
she has this confidence that matches her brilliance
and i am quite sure that she will be able to hold on to it despite everything that happens with little girls that makes them lose their light and their sense of their place in the world.

she asked if i would make her a mix
“like you made for mommy”
when i left her a few weeks ago, I left her with a copy of Homogenic .
She heard one song in the car and said,
“Aunt Jenny!!! Can you play that last song again. I like that song”
it was “All Is Full Of Love”
she is a little alien and i cant imagine life if she had never come to us
i will post the playlist of her mix when its done.
right now its a little heavy on AIR and Le Tigre

my need for movement is insatiable
everything is changing at this pace that i cant keep up with
blogs, for me, are something that belong to certain times and places.
and when i feel as if i am trapped and pacing around looking at the blank template
and cant write how (or what) i want
i feel the need to move.
but right now i have nowhere to go
so im going to do my best to divert this to something i can be happy with
for now

“you are incredibly annoying when you don’t drink and i’m going to stop being friends with you soon”
love-
gorm

Landry: so i am still OTW (on the wagon) and no one has died yet!
JBL: its still early.
Landry: and i’m going be around lots of dopes tonight…will you bail me out if i stay OTW but i kill someone?
JBL: hmmm…not sure i can be friends with a known felon
Landry: well at least i won’t have to be “registered”
JBL: i dont know what you will do with them
Landry: chances are, if ive killed them, they are stupid. which means i wont be doing anything with them…thus no registration
JBL: you are dirty like the boys i dont know what you are capable of
Landry: hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
JBL: is it true?!?
Landry: maybe
JBL: dirty
Landry: have i EVER denied being dirty?
JBL: im just saying maybe you should fully embrace your dirty side
Landry: listen…this is JUST about killing people, it has nothing to do with my dirty side….at least not yet!!
JBL: well try not to kill anyone….
although you might like girl jail….
like a pajama party.

im going to write about music
not like bryce does
not like kyle does

but like i do when ive been on the wagon for 4 days and my head is clear
and i realize that i have been shoving it in my ears for months
to stop thinking
loading it in like a dump truck
making my brain binary and evenly weighted
one for you
and
one for you

and

waiting

for

the

scales

to

tip